should I feel this way?
Hello. I have been feeling quite lonely these past few weeks. Actually, it's been persisting for several years, on and off. My name is Victor. I live in Southern California, with my mother. The place I live in is probably one of the whiter communities in So Cal. My mother separated from my dad when I was little. I'm guessing they felt the relationship vibe for a little while, then they just split. I noticed this happens to some interracial relationships. You see, my father is Mexican and my mother's parents come from Norway and Ireland. I guess that makes me biracial, but in the eyes of my school, I'm Hispanic. I remember one time my mother came to a student-teacher conference, and they asked where my mother was and I said that was here and they then said "Don't be silly, that's some random woman." As I said before, I live in one of the whiter communities in Southern California. I visit my dad sometimes on weekends in Lincoln Heights, a largely Mexican-American area, however the visitation is limited. I live with my mother the other times and I feel disconnected from my Hispanic counterparts. In my town, if you're Mexican, you came here to work with either a hammer or broom in your hand. My classmates make horrible jokes about people of Mexican descent and I'm the only Mexican in the grade. People don't even know my name, they just refer to me as Victor. In history class, the teacher said that Mexico was taken over by the Spaniards because the Mayans were weak. I couldn't speak up, I couldn't say anything. My mom has a decent amount of money, so we aren't as economically deprived as other Chicanos. Everyday is basically the same. Come home, sleep, eat, wake, go to the hell that is school, repeat. No fun on weekends, no one to hangout with. Now I can understand what my father was talking about when he was telling me about the Mexican experience in the United States. He told me about lots of alienation. I'm starting to think that the world is a great place if you're white. I wonder if I should leave home and try and to make it on my own.
Adolescent - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
NO NO NO you should not leave home your mom lost you dad and my bets are that she hasnt really gotten over it as yet and now if she looses you she will be worst please please take you mothers feelings into consideration please dont leave her
2 :
Please do not leave home. Can you talk to you mom about how you feel? I don't know how it is to be a minority as i am white, but i can tell you that school is just such as small part of life. i know that it can be brutal but it is not worth ruining you life over. You sound like such an intelligent kid so finish school and try and be happy with yourself because that is so much more important than what others think.
3 :
I am sorry you feel this way, I don't know how old you are but trust me trying to make it on your own won't make it any better, then you will be like the "rest of them" on the street. My parents are from El Salvador and I am married to a Mexican which i love very much. I just quite a job that i had lots of problems with there racial comments, they will always say that the economy was going down just because of us the hispanic people no one else but us. There where more racial comments, but that's life be the bigger person and show them that you are someone that is going to accomplish things that you are not weak like they think we are, that we can hold are head up HIGH because some of are parents come here with nothing and give us ever thing we need by working there A** off. Keep your head up and remember they are ignorant for thinking like that and that makes you better. GOOD LUCK! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH!!!! YOUR HISPANIC! :)
4 :
That's awful. Sounds like the staff and students at your school need some lessons in diversity awareness. It would be difficult to do that alone. Is there anyone at your school - a teacher, counselor, or principal - who would understand? If you could get that person to realize how the school as a community is unwelcoming and intimidating to nonwhites, maybe they could start educating the others, or at least raise the issue in a staff meeting. Talk to your mother too; maybe she could talk to someone at school. As for having friends, all I can suggest is that among the group at your school, try to downplay your differences and focus on the things you all have in common. Maybe you are so aware of being part Mexican that your entire experience is colored by that. Of course that would be natural, but I'm sure that the things that concern most high school students - social life, activities, homework, grades - are probably the same for everybody. Talk to others about those things. Join a club or sport. Finally, be patient. You will be grown up and free to leave before you know it. Try to remember that there is a big world out there, and it is full of different kinds of people. If you want to go to a place where there is more diversity, you will be able to find it. Perhaps someday you can use your experiences to raise awareness and bring about positive change.
5 :
Don't leave home. It's hard to make it on your own. I'm Mexican too. I've been living in Washington for about 9 years. I cannot say I know what you're going through because there's a good amount of Mexicans and Hispanics in my school, in my town. But I do know how it feels when others think that just because you are a minority from somewhere else, it means that you've come here to work your butt off in the fields. I know what it feels like when others believe that you cannot be successful, but don't let that bring you down. Take the time and effort to prove to them that you, as a Chicano, can and will be successful. I don't know what else to tell you. Except bestest luck and I hope you feel better. If you need to talk to anyone just e-mail me or something.
6 :
kids will be kids... and i think it's important to speak up when people say an insult about your culture so you can let them know that they can't mess with you.
