Should I feel this way?
Hello. I have been feeling quite lonely these past few weeks. Actually, it's been persisting for several years, on and off. My name is Victor. I live in Southern California, with my mother. The place I live in is probably one of the whiter communities in So Cal. My mother separated from my dad when I was little. I'm guessing they felt the relationship vibe for a little while, then they just split. I noticed this happens to some interracial relationships. You see, my father is Mexican and my mother's parents come from Norway and Ireland. I guess that makes me biracial, but in the eyes of my school, I'm Hispanic. I remember one time my mother came to a student-teacher conference, and they asked where my mother was and I said that was here and they then said "Don't be silly, that's some random woman." As I said before, I live in one of the whiter communities in Southern California. I visit my dad sometimes on weekends in Lincoln Heights, a largely Mexican-American area, however the visitation is limited. I live with my mother the other times and I feel disconnected from my Hispanic counterparts. In my town, if you're Mexican, you came here to work with either a hammer or broom in your hand. My classmates make horrible jokes about people of Mexican descent and I'm the only Mexican in the grade. People don't even know my name, they just refer to me as Victor. In history class, the teacher said that Mexico was taken over by the Spaniards because the Mayans were weak. I couldn't speak up, I couldn't say anything. My mom has a decent amount of money, so we aren't as economically deprived as other Chicanos. Everyday is basically the same. Come home, sleep, eat, wake, go to the hell that is school, repeat. No fun on weekends, no one to hangout with. Now I can understand what my father was talking about when he was telling me about the Mexican experience in the United States. He told me about lots of alienation. I'm starting to think that the world is a great place if you're white. I wonder if I should leave home and try and to make it on my own.
Adolescent - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
its normal to feel that way..been there done that. but look...try to connect with you dad side of the family..if that doesn't work..learn to except the fct you are who you are...and maybe try to get out more..your mom has money right??..get her to let you go a summer adventure..try going abroad..the U.S. isn't as friendly as the people over there in Spain..France..{The french are actually nice..lol}..there wesites you can go to that have trips to go abroad either for a internship or just to have an exxperience of a life time...trust me..get out that wack ass community and get some friends who understand you or if not understand..at least except you for who you are...
2 :
Have pride in your heritage. And speak up! The Mayans were not weak (btw) the Spaniards carried diseases, had horses, and more advanced weapons, taking the Mayans by storm. (Well this is what MY teacher told us...) And there are two type of Mexicans: the many who come to work here for pay that is less than dandy, and those who come and live comfortably with permanent jobs and homes in the U.S. But for some reason we are so prideful about where we come from. And maybe you should go somewhere for summer vacation. Maybe somewhere you can see where being a Latino isn't so bad. The world isn't that great for anyone: my school is mostly Hispanic, and most of the Hispanics here, makes jokes about white people... Either way, we all make jokes about each other. And plus, I know how that feeling of not belonging somewhere feels; me and my father once got followed around a Best Buy for two hours, because one of the employees thought we were going to steal something because we couldn't afford it. i.e, my father is Police Officer, who is from Guadalajara, Mexico, and a U.S citizen. :D
