My husband wants to divorce me because of economical problems and because I have had problems with his mum!?
I was a 22 years old girl living in Iran with very good money that I made and also my dad gave when I married a 23 years old Norwegian guy without a job who was studying. We had so many difficulties to marry but finally we made it. When I moved to Norway he had already given up on studying and he had 50 000 studying loan that he has to pay even now!! He did not even work 3 years ago and he was living poorly in a very small room in a very small town. I spent many days without eating anything yet I walked to school everyday in cold snow without warm clothes and... but I loved him and stayed with him. We moved to a bigger room which had absolutely nothing in it! No refrigiator, oven, nothing. We got no help from his mother who did not even wash our clothes. She did not even help us with 50-60 dollar and that caused arguments between us too. Then with my encouragement he got a parttime job which only helped us to pay our important expenses yet we did not have money for food! I applied for 600 jobs and did not get!! He tried to get 3-4 creditcards to be able to pay for expenses! 1 year after that we moved to Oslo for better opportunities and we had EXTREMELY difficult time for 2 months and I had to sleep on empty floor until he got a fulltime job and slowly we bought things without anyones help. I got a fulltime job after a year which was around 70% of his income. So I paid around 30-40% of my income for our sharing expenses. But he is never satisfied and he claims that I must pay for creditcard bills that he has spent on me 3 years ago. He also says that he does not have any money in his account after he pays for his studying loan that he has got 6 years ago before he knew me, even if now he has fulltime job with good payment! He always complains if I buy any dress, make up and such things for me. After finansproblems I lost my fulltime job and got 40% job which isnt enough for my own expenses yet I still give him 20% of our expenses.He claims that I must give more to him and another prob is that he wants to rent 10 000 dollar to his mother who has not helped me even 50 dollar when I was dying hungry! He says that his mother needs this money badly and will give back the money! I think we have worse economic than his mum!! We just argue all the time. Help me.
Marriage & Divorce - 10 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
first, if he is so broke, how would he give 10,000 to his mother? that part i don't understand. also, as his wife, it is your job to put in 50% for your expenses. but, you should not have to give it directly to him. you should pay the bills yourself. to make sure that your money is going where it is supposed to be going. you should pay the credit card bills on time every month or both of your guys' credit will be very very bad. also, it is not or should it have ever been his mom's responsibility to wash your clothes. your old enough to be married, your old enough to do your won laundry. and as for her giving you money, if she is needing to borrow from you, then chances are, she just didn't have it to give. but by the sounds of it, neither do you. so the loan is a bad idea. unless you can afford it, and get something in writing. good luck.
2 :
you're doing all this just becasue he is Norweigan you feel you have to buy his love, he doesn't love you the same, it's plain to see.
3 :
cause he married you because he needs a female body to bear his children; and be obedient to his mother; now once there is a inbalance in his equation ; he first gets rid of you cause he wasnt emotionally attached to you when he married you; it was more like a purchase! sorry but please respect your self and leave; it might seem that you cant because you never know another way of living; but believe me there is
4 :
When you say Norwegian, you don't mean ethnically, right? Is there no love? Why is it a problem him divorcing you if there is no love? You should be able to stay in Norway if you have been married for three years, if I'm not mistaken. Find someone who loves you instead? May be the blessing you need, this.
5 :
You are wasting your time. What's the use in loving someone who does not love you back? He's just using you. Don't loan the no-good-for-nothing-bum's mom any money. Tell her to get her own damned job.
6 :
where did you find this guy??? All I can say right now is RUN BABY RUN!!!! Life is too short to bother with a drama king.
7 :
You are not his wife, you are his financial partner and one that he feels is inadequate. Get out of the marriage and find a real man who can provide for his family and give the love you deserve.
8 :
you must wake up .. hes after your money .. not you.. so leave him wile you can .. hes a rat bag .. wake up .. and look at .. getting away from .. him.. his mum is only using you and so is he ....
9 :
This is way too confusing to understand. He has no money but yet he gives a lot to his mom. He wants you to give a lot of your money to him for bills he created. All kinds of weird stuff is happening here. So many couples argue over money. It is not worth breaking up over even tho I would think so at first because he seems very selfish with money that isn't his. But yet, usually couples put their money together and decide what to pay and how much to pay on everything. It should be a joint effort. Combine all of your incomes and split all of the bills equally. Young people don't think that way. They think that it's individual money and individual bills. Do you want to live like that and argue forever? Then if you don't do as I suggest. Love each other and help each other with bills and everything else. You are as ONE now and that's the way it should be with the two of you. Teach him this and you will both be a lot happier.
10 :
First of all, let me ask you what exactly it is that you are getting out of this relationship. Sounds to me like you have gotten nothing but hardship from day one. Why would you want to stay in this type of situation anyway. Why wouldn't you want to get away from him and his mother and take care of just yourself? You could do so much better on your own at least you wouldn't have him dragging you down. Think about it. What good is he to you anyway? Sounds to me like he will let you work hard every day and take care of him but I don't think he would do the same for you. Red
