how can I help my daughter make the right decisions?
My daughter (who is 17) really wanted to be an exchange high school student in Norway. I let her go on exchange to Norway and it was really expensive. I asked her many times if she didn't want to go to another, more modern country like Japan or UK but she insisted on going to Norway. We are talking in the phone often and she is telling me that it doesn't go well between her and her host family. The host parents are very strict and they won't let her go out after 9pm. My daughter was placed in a small village with almost nothing to do. She also complains about how difficult it is to learn Norwegian AND that her host family does nothing to help her. There is nothing to do in that village she lives in. She hasn't got one single friend at school. It is 1 hour to the nearest city and she is only allowed to go there together with the rest of her host family. She also has to eat fish 5 days a week and she isn't used to it. She told me that Norwegians are very homophobic. She told her host family about her gay friends and they didn't seem to like her having gay friends home in America. My daughter is used to openness and city life, not small villages with nothing to do except for fishing, looking at all the penguins or go mountain climbing. She tells me that her host brother Vidar is very ongoing and he is feeling her up all the time. Can't he get anything before he is married? Is sex before marriage uncommon in Norway? My daughter thought Norway was a cool country until she arrived there. She has now been there since last summer and she really wants to go home. Should I let her go home (and think "it was all wasted money") or should she change host family and be placed in a big city?
Adolescent - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you and her chose this decision
2 :
Have her moved to a city, exchange trips aren't about getting to know the hick culture of another country, it's about getting to know the real culture of a country. (and making a resume massively better) and the host family brother, out of line.
3 :
It would be easy to think that the money is the most important thing, but I can tell that you truly want your daughter to be happy and safe. I would let her transfer to another city and host family. That is what would be safest for her. The people that she is with aren't understanding, comforting or safe for her to be around. I understand that you put a lot of your hard earned money into this experiencee for her. Get your money's worth and send her to another family, city, or even country.Remember that your daughters safety comes first and foremost. If you feel adamant about her coming home, than bring her home. You will feel better and she will to. I also advice that you complain to the organization that set up this exchange about the host family and how unsafe it is for ANY child to be in their home. Don't allow another family to send their kid to live with people who cant provide a safe environment. I hope that this helps and I wish all the luck to you and your daughter!
4 :
See if you can get her with another family, she shouldn't have to stay with a boy who's feeling her up! Hopefully she'll be placed somewhere where she can learn more and have a better time, learning the language and culture.
5 :
She has been there for almost A YEAR?!! What program is that? If she is unhappy, then let her come home. xoxo Jeana
